Polyandrium

The realness of our Savior and the nearness of His Spirit brings humble heaviness on my head and heart, crushing cheekbones to the carpet of this deceiving world. I feel the sting of a friend's slow, painful, cancer filled death. I see another.

No care for the sacrificed paid on his behalf. Knowing full well the price Christ paid for his very life and trading it in for every quick fill that leaves emptiness in it's wake.  With a glad heart I rejoice in the vision of my free friend dancing before our Father. The Greatest Lover. I imagine the tears gone and youth restored. She followed the Savior and gave what she had.

With unbearable anguish I cry over my other's stench pond of choices that leaves him floating down a river with a waterfall of reaping that will leave him dead as well. With an angry heart full of frstration at the weaknes of will I will imagine the Father not recognizing Him and I will cry even in heaven for his fate. Unforgiveness, abuse, idolitry, immoralities, the list goes on....was it worth it? Did it give you even a morsel of what it took? It's hurts to imagine.

Please Father make him obey you! But the Father draws us he does not hold us up and demmand we choose Him. He answers the knock, He does not come univited. So I return. Cheek to the carpet. Begging for mercy for the ones I love.

We are choosing to acknowledge Christ as all, but denying the reality of neither giving or submitting to Christ as the keeper of our days. Does this world not see the love? Why do we allow flesh and empty passions rule? What do they offer us that is so good, when the next day we are back to the drawing board. Was a night out that great? Was that new thing you tried that rewarding? Christ allowed himself to be mocked by the Romans soldiers. (Mark 15:16-20) We still mock Him today! It is not enough to acknowledge. He gave all and demands all! Is it not in His right to decide?

Mark 15:16-20 "Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith."

"I see the mountain so high and jagged.it seems impassible and an unrelenting journey" my lost friend cries silently in their darkness of heart."If God just knew what was in me, what I have done, what others have done to me, what I have put myself, and the people I love through." Let us remember the grace filled communion. Break the bread, His body broken for me and for you. God is not mocked. Drink the wine His blood spilled out. The great sacrifice ending the great battle being played out in this world. It is finished. It has been won. The Victory is the Lord's. You will be a slave to one or the other. And unlike most slaves you get the ultimate choice who you serve. Life or death. It will be one or the other. We must not  blame evil any longer, we must not blame God. We must choose to see. He has Grace. He knew, He knows. He loves.

I plead face down in the carpet of my heart, with fists clenched, for the life of my friend, "Turn to the One who will never turn away from you! 'Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim. In the light of His glorious face.'"

 Revelation  3:19-20 Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. 

God does not do selection like this world. He does not choose best dressed and coziest home. He does not want the next best talent. 

He is looking for open hearts, and honest repenting. He is looking to take the dusty, misunderstood remains of our lives. He brings his sacrifice and love for us as a fertilizer to our ashy soil. Then it happens. A garden of his love, joy, and everything good is harvested in the springtime of our days shared with Him.


Friend, I beg you to choose Him. If you are thinking that this is too good. You are right. God is real and He is good. I know this in my bones. Reality showed itself to me the day I heard the knock and opened the door of my heart. The Father's reality became mine and now I am never alone. Still imperfect yes. But there are blossoms of color and goodness in the garden of my heart where there once was only weeds. And I am thankful.