Illuminate

Sometimes....
Life just sucks the life right out of itself.

Like the when you flick on the switch by the door for the light to illuminate the room before realizing that whoever was there last pulled the cord on the light itself.
There is nothing left to do but grope your way around in the dark to you hopefully find it without breaking anything.

I grope in dark sometimes...
And the truth is I break people.
I move on too fast..busy with this life...looking for the light source in all the dark places.
I am reminded again as I wash the plate for the last time today...

Bow your knees and pray.
Plug in
I am reminded how sometimes...some relationships....in order to bring them out of the darkness....cost a lot.
Life currency. Winner gives all!

The truth is there is only one energy source.
There is only one who illuminates.

Plug in I must to be the light in relationships hurting and fading.
Press on through life with these disorienting days.

Jesus...Thank you for your focused life.
You lived like a servent
You died like a criminal
You share like a lover
You give like a parent
Jesus...I can't thank you enough
For revealing yourself to me.

Alluring Whisper

Sometimes there are lots of words going out
Sometimes the quiet whisper stirs within.

"Be like this child.
 Let My wonder at the simple fill you.
 Lay down your self
 Give way to trust
 My spirit will pour into you running over
 Be still in this washbowl of life
 I have cleansed you
 From all unrightousness.
 Allow Me to refine you
 Let Me show you beautiful."

Sometimes I breath out with a resting soul.
Sometimes it is that simple.

Eupnoea

After the long, cold winter the sun comes longer. The grass appears and the rains fall. The Father's perfect cycle. I think about things you know? How in the winter little dissipates except for the food storage. Things accumulate. Snow, pet poo in the yard, people's frustration, and fat. Then when you think that there will be no about-face the sun shines bright and all is revealed as the dingy, of-white snow melts off.

Then comes my favorite part. The warmth! Out go the carpets to shake and open go the windows. Air that was stuffy and stale turns fresh and sweet. The buds on the trees and the green grass give an aroma for spring that no one has yet to reproduce. Let's give The Creator some praise!

And that freshness! I feel it sometimes when I take to noticing.
After a time of wrestling and stubbornness. After a lack of reading God's Word and meeting with other believers. I become that stale air that makes you breath short and leaves your head spinning a bit.

Oh The freshness....The lace curtains in my heart blow with the spirit's breath bringing waves of hope and joy. Peace in my heart is ruffled like the papers left on the sill. And the whole space of my self becomes refreshed.

That is probably what happened to Thomas. (John 24) It wasn't that he was doubting on purpose. The disciples all gathered together in the upper room. Off alone with doors locked.(vs19) Secluding themselves from the world. Maybe at this point they are feeling understandably foolish?...

I wonder what drew Thomas away. Did he feel to busy to wait? Did he just want to think about something else and move on? Maybe it wasn't doubt that drew him away. Maybe it was hurting and loneliness of heart? Rejection? I couldn't imagine after knowing Jesus like I do now, having His relationship taken from me. Then knowing that only in death would I be with Him again. How discouraging the thought of life would be! At this point Thomas didn't know that the Holy Spirit would be given to keep the connection alive. Just thinking....

I know I act out of my hurts too often. Not trusting my maker to work out the details of my days, I respond with fleeing and seclusion. Maybe Thomas and I had more in common than just doubt. I am just thinking....

The saddest part is that whatever made him to separate himself from his eternal peeps made him to miss out on the greatest blessing.

The Fresh breath. The eupnoea that came from God alone. (vs.22)

This is the greatest of Thomas' news! That Jesus love for Thomas went beyond Thomas. This is why I think it wasn't just doubt. I think Jesus knew that Thomas was responding in doubt, but the root of it was his broken heart. How many times...I wonder...have I missed out on a great blessing because I secluded myself from others. Like a wounded animal retreating in private to lick my  bleeding, injured self. Self-pity is a very deceiving friend. It seems so innocent, but takes so much. I am sure I have missed out on those sweet breezes that stir and refresh the back corners of my heart, because I have said yes to that evil invitation.

Even the attic needs airing in the spring.

If you are in a soul winter hold on, dear friend, spring is coming.
If you are in a soul spring, hold on, dear friend, rejoice!
You know the way of seasons.
To every season there is a time...

Boldly Pause

Wherever you go, you are there.

Run fast. Run far. Drive farther. Work harder. Move to the next town. Change the scenery. Move the furniture. Call a friend and let it all out. Clamp the mouth shut and let the heart seethe. Take flight! Put up a fight. "Whatever you do," whispers my evil companion, "Don't give in. If you give in they will never let you live."

And the whisper comes....
"Come and rest here...come and lay your burdens down...come and rest here....Breathe in....breathe out...you will find it here...."    -Kari Jobe
He is here. The One who sees. The One who cares. The One who in spite of it all took it all on. I am filled with wonder. I place feet flat, and my knees bend down. How un-trusting I am in the only One who is trustworthy. Why do I give in to fear and words that belong only to the ruler of this world. Who, by the way, wants only my destruction!

The Loving, Kind Father over all, all around placing reminders to look up.

A puppy's kisses, children with kites flying, sun kissed faces and walks around a friendly town.

He is here with me. He is there with you. Let's not run anymore. Let's hold fast. We will hold on tight. We will listen well and respond without hesitation. Have your way Lord. Have your way!

2 Corinthians 3:11-13

For if what was being brought to an end came with glory, much more will what is permanent have glory. Since we have such a hope, we are very bold.

Friend~ Wherever we are, He is here!