Head Rest

Clean space is head space. A clean heart is a peaceful heart.

The sigh of relief...I can feel it escape my tired body as I stand back and panorama the order that has returned do to my ruthless expression of energy and longing. If I can just get things put right.

If I can just get things back to order. If I can just get things under control.
Who's control?

And this is where I breath. I am becoming more and more like my Savior. Ever so gradually in ways that no one can see. I sense it in my soul and that is enough. Before where the overwhelming frustration would show up unwelcomed at the sight of the chaos strewn from wall to wall, now there is peace to meet the service challenge and energy to see the task through.

How great a blessing to be reminded that I am not alone. I have a constant helper who sticks closer than a friend. I worship and dance as I celebrate the opportunity to love my family in this way. As they dance together to loud music and happy heart, I steal away in loving service and give thanks.

It's time to rest. It's time to be filled and receive. Even in the work, in the daily grind, in the coming and going....my heart rests.

Perpetual Falling

Crushing leaves underfoot

Winds whirling around my flesh

Air whipping my eyes and lips

Raking up debris and remains

Something that was once new

Turned to dust

Don't get me wrong. I love the colors of Fall, the warm invitation of the indoors. I like the leaf piles and the apple picking. I am just not a big fan of the loss. What is it about Fall that frustrates me?

Perhaps its the loosing of something I enjoy. Already I am grieving the sunny days of sprinklers and swings. Gardening and running. 

Kiddos flinging doors wide open and thinking to myself... there is no need to shut it. 

The good things just don't seem to last. 

Do my dreams and hopes seem like decaying leaves under someone else's foot?

Maybe it is time to crush the head of the dream snuffer outer.

I always wonder what season comes first. Was it Spring? Where the whole Heavens and Earth were spoken into creation? Or maybe Summer where Adam and Eve were working in their perfect habitat and harvesting the constant fruit and vegetables that were available when their  palettes desired.  I can't believe it was the Fall that came first. 

The Fall came in perfect order. And how fitting that Satan would fall from Heaven as a withered leaf falls from it's lofty branch. And how fitting that he should entice the first people to fall into temptation that led them to hiding and shame. How fitting. That the fall comes after summer. Sounds like Creation, Rebellion. What comes next? 

The frosty bitter cold. The desire for rest and quiet. Winter.....Redemption. And then the blossoms of hope. All things brought back new. bigger and taller than before.... Restoration. Its real. The perpetual seasons. Mapped out as reminders.

This world will continue to twirl and we will continue to spin, but I trust in the One who orders every leaf to fall. All things held together by Him in balance and care.

I am feeling fall. I am falling down. Like a toddler. Falling and getting up. Hardly fazed by the consistent unsteadiness. I am getting a little jealous. How come some trees get to keep their leaves longer. I really don't want to give up my protection. I like to hide my core and my system of covering the ground where my root system lies hidden. I am not a fan of being an exposed twig. 

But I am just that. The Holy Scriptures remind us that God Himself allows the twigs to get bruised, but He does not allow them to be broke and or cut off. I feel bruised. So for now I will revel in the relating to Fall, because it doesn't last forever. There is another season coming. A season of rest, which leads to newness...

About that Kingdom living...I am thinking a whole lot of Spring!

Intentional Breaking

It is a grand thing to taste trust. There is no sweeter delight than rest. I am learning that these moments of crushing and bruising are not some freak accident. They are not a moment of weakness.

It is My Creator's intentional breaking.

He is orchestrating this to make happen the grandest jailbreak of all. He is rescuing me out of the darkness. Out of the chains that have me held down. Jesus himself trading His glorious body for one made from dust, to come and free me from the hold of the false idols I have allowed to hold me. The deception that happened in the very beginning. The script has been written and yet I still live like I don't know the final scene...

To think I put my hope in the deceptions and lies that they caused me. But I did, and I have paid. And I have learned.

And now I know. I believe in the One who holds me in the palm of His hand. I know and believe that My God, He cares for me. Enough to let me learn to turn to Him. My Great Keeper of my soul. Forever waiting, never rejecting.

Watch me run. Here I come. Father catch me.