Ready Rejoinder

Response is everything!

To be honest I have a hard time chewing that one too. I mean really? Every time?
Yes! Sir! eee!

I have been a mom for a good chunk of years now. I have yet to have plenty of wisdom under my belt. And it never ceases to amaze me. I think I am ready. I feel like I can handle it. I got a good night sleep, and my diet has been pretty good. I even had a walk today...everything is in order, and still...

Bam! Horrible response. Fellow servant down with broken heart.

God knows my heart. How desperate I am to be renewed and to shed those old companions that rise up and visit when I least expect them. It just doesn't seem right, and the reality is it is not. It is my responsibility. I am hurting people. It is my blame and my tongue that let my Jesus Christ to death.

I am always surprised at myself when it isn't the kids that bring those cobweb covered nasties out of me. It is adults.

I see why God said do not hinder the little ones and let them come unto me. My little cherubs, so full of grace and so much fun. When I love them they become all cookies and cream, and when the world starts taking me away from them for all the "good" things that need to be done, a lot like how the disciples were holding back the little ones because they thought the adults were better. I am sad to say when I separate from my little ones, they do quickly become like sour grapes. It is true. Even church can undo the fellowship and discipleship within the family by using time and separating us out.

Guard your heart, guard your mind, and guard your family.

The father is so loving in giving us these lessons. He does not leave us behind, but like a perfect loving parent he nudges us on to following Him. All things are possible with Christ. We won't be done until He calls us home, and for the better of the ones following in my footsteps, I will...

Trust and obey
For there is no other way
To be happy in Jesus
Than to trust and obey

Reticent Companion

When times are so hard and we we run to others, we are running away from God.

"Be still and know that I am God" The scripture states clearly. There is a time for everything, and I think in this day in history, more than ever, silence has to be so very intentional.  When I get quiet, even the things that were quiet before become loud.

Ever notice that? The background radio that you could hardly hear becomes annoyingly loud when lying on the couch in the afternoon.  The Dishwasher during prayer becomes an annoying drumming. The cars going by seem obtrusive during a snuggled reading with the children. Quiet doesn't come easy.

Even Elisha, chosen priest, stole away from all of civilization. God sent many magnificent sights for him to behold from the mouth of the cave, but remember when God showed himself?
In the stillness.

Then when He speaks I sit in awe. When the time comes I rise and I go out bearing more of His name than I did the time before. Amen for the simplicity of how God chooses to meet us.

God is more concerned in doing a work in you than He is about doing a work through you.

Family Consanguinity

Some weeks are just like this. 
They can be referred to as doormat weeks. Not in the sense doormat mans that people aren't appreciating you, I am using the term in more of a welcoming mat. Maybe this is a bad analogy, but until I can come up with a better one it will have to do. All people under the roof needing to shake off the daily grim from living in this decomposing world.


I have been pondering the role of the family. What it was established for, what it's purpose is, and what the relationships inside of it should look like. Of course with every family it is different. It is a shame when we see only the good and others and put unneeded stress and expectation on our own loved ones. When I see that in m I am disgusted.


Also, the one thing that keeps creeping into my thinking, is how much is my perception of all that God has showed me and all that I read in His word is tainted by my knowledge, education, and experience. My family, culture, and friendships have all blended together to create what it is I think I know now. 


That my friend is why I believe that we must be still and know that He is God. In those moments where all is quiet and I am with our Father, I sense a clearing of my mind. In those moments His holiness is revealed and I can see the true reality of His establishment. 


Let us face it. Everyone wants to give their account of what the Bible has to say. Books on parenting, e-books on fasting, Literature on prayer, and the list goes on.


I have repented to a friend recently that my mentors are books. That must be sad to the Father. Can you imagine Jesus with the disciples? "Study the first chapter and I will meet you on Thursday to discuss." Weird! He could not have the full impact on them meeting once a week and him talking with no room for the disciples to respond. He kept them so close. They learned in moments when they didn't know they were being taught.


And this is where my thoughts on the family come together. Daily-ness. Walking out life everyday after day. Talking and seeing. Challenging and responding. Taking in and processing. Mother and Father, the two godly perspectives coming together to provide a whole picture. Children tendered and nurtured following behind in the grassy, narrow trail, being warned of dangers, encouraged to look up, and not miss the beautiful.


The family is where the relationship begins.
Consanguinity

Mustering Complaints

I have pondered the preaching today.
Habakkak
As a witty elder of our church would say, "in the crispy pages."

Habakkak, who name meaning seems insignificant, gets to the end of his rope. In a very adult like temper tantrum sort of way he pours his complaint at God and urges The Father to DO SOMETHING!!! In response the Lord says something to to effect of hang on there buddy. Check out what is going around you. Do you think for a moment that I don't have it all under control?

Habakkak is in his preistly position. Apointed by God to lead people, he seems to dicide that perhaps it is his turn to lead God. His respone includes (vs 13),  "Why do you idly look at traitors and remain silent when the wicked swallows up the man more righteous than he?" He continues on, and ends with the statement that says God can say what he wants, but Habakkak? His answer will again be referenced to Habbakak's complaint. Feel free to read the short book for the rest of the story.

Hmmm....

I see that how Habkkak, who i will not call H, is like....me. How often am I formulating answers to my own situations instead of listening intently for the voice of God?

I think some would believe it to be wrong to think that H's honesty and persistance to God is a bad thing. I don't agree.

 Jesus himself said that knock and the door shall be opened. He reminded us of the man who needed the bread in the night. The man persisted until the neighbor came to the door and shared the provisions that were needed. God does not mind redundantcy at all. Our dependence on Him alone to meet our deepest needs, results in His glory and that is what is best for everyone. After all He is our Daily Bread. Many of lifes hardest situtaions are lived out over many, many days. And it is everyday we must eat the bread of our dependence on Him and drink the cup that washes away the stress and strain of what we face in this world.

I actually went and got my hair cut a few days ago. A classy place with a down to earth lady that did a great job on my untamed locks. While we talked she shared the struggles of her Father's health. The next chair over the two women shared stories of one's favorite aunt and the other's young sisiter-in-law with three children struggling with aggressive cancers. Two chairs over a friend was there for a wekly appointment mainly to encourage the stylist, as she is going through a very messy divorce. All this pain.

I sat there with scriptures twirling in my head and with nothing to say that would make any sense. I was praying for wisdom, when the woman next to me said something to the effect of, "I just don't get it. With all the drug dealers and mean people out there why don't they get these life threatening problems."

I just kept thinking about the ruler of this world. Glad to to have the power in the life of the wounded and the life of the bitter. Then the Holy Spirit gave me words and boldness.

"I think that is why when Jesus introduced the Holy Spirit to us He called him the Great Comforter. He knew that this life would try to knock us down to death and we would need a comforter to give us hope. We are never alone in any situaution."

And He persisted just as we do. He was filled with comfort and Hope just like the Lord Jesus Christ promises for us.

Friend, don't give up. The joy comes in the morning. Sometimes the nights last so long, but we don't stand on the sinking sand of what we can muster. We stand on the Solid Rock of who He is and the promises that He so generously recorded for us in His word. He's with you right now.

Hosting Hurting

As believers we are bestowed many gifts.


These are not the gifts as we in the western world may think. Our minds have been warped with making lists for Santa and our working Grandma's never ending question of what we would like for our birthday.


No these gifts come from the Throne of grace to our inmost parts and it is our job to find them within and act them out.


I have been thinking a bit about the gifts. We as believers like to put a lot of emphasis on the certain things of the Spirit. We like topical approaches to gifts. I wonder if we make the the focus too much. The Bible says that we are filled with the Holy spirit to accomplish every good work that he has prepared for us to walk in. It also says that unto some there are certain gifts and unto others there are others and it is our job to act in those gifts. Also, because of the Holy Spirit in us, we can be whatever the person in front of us needs us to be. This is the truest gifts of the Spirit I believe. The ability that the faith filled believer has to rise to any occasion that is presented! What joy and freedom to love and serve in any capacity or challenge!


It also says of some gifts that we should all be acting in them. 


Hospitality.
This one is different. I believe we as a church say we are doing this one well. Let me encourage us friend. Who are we hosting? To be like Christ the scripture reveals that we host those who can't return the favor.


A single mom burned out, no family to rely on, and children to tend to.
This is who Christ would invite.
An old man walking around town to earn extra cash for the cable bill and another pack of smokes.
This is who Christ would invite.
An untrusting, disconnected child on the t-ball field who squirms out of a loving embrace
This is who Christ would serve.


Help me Lord to not take the easy way. Many are needing Your loving care. Help me not to continue to look to the comfortable who will entertain me in return for my own fun. Give me eyes to see those around me who need the invitation, connection, and fellowship that my home can provide.

True Worship

Worship.

We worship in Spirit.
The Great Comforter filling of hearts and minds with the ability to give glory to the One who preceded all things, created all things, and will finish the work that He began.

We worship in Truth.
Truth of who He is. The truth of Who we are. The truth of our circumstance, the truth of our obedience, the Truth in the one's  in relationship with us, and the truth of our honesty toward them. That is a lot of truth.

These are the things that worship is made of.

We give a cup of water to a child.
Worship.
We give an old man a raking job for too much money.
Worship.
We have a couple of tired moms with a bunch of kids over knowing the house will be destroyed.
Worship.
We let go of the things we value most for the sake of others.
Worship.
We lay down our biggest dreams.
Worship.

I notice something here. There has to be one thing that I lay down to bring the truest worship. ME. My pride, my expectations, and my desires. I lay it all down.

There is One who laid it down before us. For the sake of our eternity and salvation, He laid every single bit of himself down. Knowing full well is would cost him. I am seeing what it is going to cost. Everything.

Have no fear child, He will never leave you or forsake you. He who is in you is much much much greater than he who is in the world. He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it in you.

Covering Shame

He who has been forgiven much loves much.

Luke 7:46-48
You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”
Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”

I can't wait to meet this woman. I love her already. Sometimes I see sense people get a little uncomfortable with this idea. I mean can you imagine? Having dinner at the neighbors, and sharing conversation with people that people know and all of a sudden...that woman...you know that one? She is on the floor. This beautiful aroma goes up all about you and you look into every eye around you searching for what is going on here! 

True worship. That is what went on there. Forgiveness covering shame. That is what went on there.

So we go back to the one who has been forgiven much loves much.

The one who has not been heard and hurts hears better?

The one who has been looked over and over sees more?

The one who has been abandoned has the potential to become the greatest companion?

I wonder.

The way of the Christ love in the world is not what comes natural to us. 

The LORD works in mysterious ways His wonders to preform.

No one can predict the ways of God in the life of his child. 

We let go and let God.

We trust and we hold fast.

We praise him now.

We will praise him tomorrow.

His will be done.

Throwing Towels

Throw in the towel.

Although this saying originated in boxing, it rings loud and clear for many a circumstance. After watching their star player being beaten by the opponent, the teams mates could throw in the white towel of surrender as a last effort to keep their opponent from knock out or possible death. Back in 1913, when this saying became popular, there wasn't the hype of rules and fairness in the sport that we have now. There was respect in spite of that, at least enough to give way to the white towel being tossed into the ring.

I hear of many people these days wanting to throw in the towel. I believe that all of us come to a place sometime, somewhere where the surrender alarm goes off.  In our hearts realize we cannot keep these heavy gloves, the facets of life, in the air any longer. Some of us have more of these days than others.

Why?

Partly because of the choices we have made, partly because of the choices others have made, and I believe partly because that is where God needs us to be to get our attention. And truly, it is most likely all of those things combined. Then why is it, that out of all the issues we face, knowing that Jesus made a way for us to access heaven, and we have everything we need, do we  struggle with this plight?

The temptation to throw in the towel.

I like to think of Jesus as my hero on a white horse. The rainbow mane flowing as his hooves clomp steadily as he approaches my in my mess. He is here. To my rescue!

But that is not how the war is, down in this world. That is the scene of heaven. His example for us here is truth, suffering, boldness of obedience, and rejection. A poor dressed man on a donkey. These are the things we follow after him in. In giving up our rights to greatness. We too, lay it down.

We don't throw in the towel for the sake of given up. We place our surrender towel in the hands of the referee, knowing that he knows best the match and skill of the fighters. He sees how much we can handle. The whole duration that we are living in the ring of days here, he never leaves us alone. He is there to call a time out, telling when to let the play continue, or to call the match to an end.

The winner has been declared.

And it is not me. I must understand this to my soul. My part of any plunder is decided by the winner alone. Jesus Christ. The only One who holds the title belt to Heaven and Hades.

I may seem defeated, but when I come to the end of myself? That is where the release comes. The invasion of the kingdom of heaven into my life.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Well Water

In my keeps rolling around and around.

"He drew the well to the woman before He drew the woman to the well. "

-Ann Vanskomp

I think of Hagar in her loneliness crying out in the dessert. Listening and seeing her child crying out in hunger and loneliness. Her son's emotions untethered and her resolve failing. 

Blessed are the brokenhearted for their's is the kingdom of heaven. A kingdom of miracles and complete restoration. 

I think of the woman at the well. The woman who had five husbands and was living with the one who was not her husband. 

The woman who received complete love and a kind rebuke that set her free.

And both received a well. Both were given living water. What was it that God responded to so amazingly?

Was it desperation? Was it loneliness? Was it a cry that they gave in the night for help from the Living God?

I think maybe there is something on the brink here to be discovered. The secret of drawing living water from the well. The moment by moment meeting in the place where thirsty soul meets love poured out. The drink that refreshes mind, body, and soul so that responses are full of grace and other's are loved as oneself.

Hmm...The Living Well.

Let God

I want to hold on!

 I gave so much for you to let it go.

I want it to belong to just me.

Trust me, I created it to glorify me.

I know what to do, I trusted you.

I am not finished. 

Nothing is going right

I work all things together for good.

How can I trust you?

Come to me, lay it down.

You want it?

I want you, I love you. I created you to love you.

You did lay down your love for me.

Now lay your issues down for Me.

You will see My glory revealed.

I have called you for My Namesake.

And you can trust My Name.

El-Shaddai.

(God Almighty)

Drawing Light

Did you ever wonder why when we we are in the dark and we see the tiniest light that we look to the light?

I think I might know...

Did you ever as a child lay in the dark room and stare at the light that could be seen from where you lay? Did you stare until you couldn't see any more? Did you close your eyes and watch the colors dance behind your eyelids?

I remember doing that.

Today I heard two stories of two men. 

The first man has separated from his second wife. He has chalked the failure up to the many mistakes. I believe that in his pain of it all he shares all the reasons why it is probably better. This way of anger, isolation, and frustration. How unmet needs make excuses for life that embraces sin. 

The second man shares a story very similar to the first. His first marriage has come to separation. Children caught in a tug of war between expectation and parental rights. but this story has a taken a turn. A man with many responsibilities of his own has chiseled hours out of his life. Even to the wee hours of the night,  he comes to the house of the man with the breaking family and shares bits of his own story. 

Stories of hardships in his marriage. Stories of imperfect children. Stories of hard jobs. 

And the best story of all.

The Better Way.

Somewhere in telling his own stories and The Father's story a man gets a glimpse into the hurt of his family.

Somewhere in sharing the pain of rejection and frustration a man lays aside himself and dates his wife.

Somewhere in the darkness a friend was a light to a man lost.

A family saved.

We are the light of the world. We are to be a city on a hill. A lamp that is not put out. 

 My dear friend, the light is in you. Do not be afraid to let it shine.

We are created to be drawn to the light.

Thorny Glory

Not to long ago a dear friend and I were marveling at the muddied, stench pits that are left behind us in this journey after Christ. Everyday we walk along these roads. With The lamp at our feet and The Light in our path. when going through stuff we feel it, we hurt, we stink, and we just know that being around others is not a good thing. And that got me thinking.

Why do we think that we can only be out when we have it all together. When all our "ducks are in a row" so to speak? Because of our own judging others when there ducks are scattered? Maybe we have heard the whispers and been glad that we are not that person....then all of a sudden...we are! Right there on the walk with God we ignore The Shepard and fall head first down the bank. Hmmm. Or maybe he leads us, because he knows how stubborn we are, into something we have to go through. We may have to go through the thorns so that we know not to go through the thorns?

But friend, the Shepard is still with us, even among the thorns. He is at the bottom of the bank stretching his staff out long to pull us to his company. He will never leave us or forsake us. Darkness is the absence of light. There is no place where you can go that is too dark to distinguish The Light within you.

This friend shared with me something she heard from someone.(be sure to quote the author in comments if you know who it is and I will add it) She said, "Judging someone by where they are at today is like judging the artwork while the artist is still holding the paintbrush."

He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. He who started a work will be faithful to complete it in you. God is still holding the paintbrush of our lives. Let us continue to ask Him to fill us with more of His Holy Spirit and the more beautiful the canvas of our lives will be. Filled with peace in our hearts and blessings to those around us.

Give Him glory
And ask him to help you to love you.
Loving yourself in a way that glorifies Him.

Quiet Direction

I lift my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the LORD,
    who made the heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;
    he who keeps you does not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps you
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD is your keeper;
    the LORD is your shade on your right hand.
The sun will not strike you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from evil;
    he will keep your life.
The Lord will keep
    your going out and coming in
    from this time forth and forevermore.

Psalm 121

When walking on a path in life that makes little sense, maybe all it takes is looking up.  Driving along the road He whispers "I lift my eyes to the hills... follow me..."

We drive. My invisible companion and I. Up winding roads where houses thin and the woods spread far. I find a clearing and rest. It is quiet except for the music of the evening. The life blended in all around of peepers and birds. Frogs and deer. All putting the last touched on their day.

They are there for the same reason. We belong. Our creator. His workmanship. All coming together for the glory of His name.

"O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
Is my Savior’s love for me!"
by Charles H. Gabriel

Maybe that is all it takes to find our way on these life trails sometimes.
Looking up for;
Quiet direction.

Shearing Pride

Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper,
  but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.
Blessed is the one who fears the LORD always,
   but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity.
Proverbs 28:13-14

Let's be real. Real transparent. Like the shearing of wool of the sheep around, so does the Father shear off the expectations of His beloved.

May I have one expectation.
Jesus.
To know Him
To follow Him
To live for Him
To be like Him

May I lay aside the things of this world that so easily entangle me.
Focus.
The Cross.
The way to receive blessing from on high? I desperately need to continue to receive more of Him in order to live for Him.

For many days past I have thought about that woman...(Luke 7) in all her worldly worthlessness...doing the great glorious thing. Washing the feet of the One who embodied the good news...with her tears! The ones nearby pointed and scowled. Jesus rejoiced. She understood.

I understand sometimes.
We draw near. Admitting our sinful selves. We cry out in frustrated abandonment to the One Who Sees. He longs for these moments.

After all, He looked for just one to respond to save the whole city of Sodom.

And I feel His touch. His hand on my head, calming me and quieting me.
It is in His hands now.

I encourage you. Give it to Him. Lay it down.

Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Lay my yoke upon you and learn from me. For I am gentle and humble in heart. And you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden in light.
Matthew 11:28-29

Cultivating Children

But while his men were sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat and went away. So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared also. And the servants of the master of the house came and said to him, ‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have weeds?’
Matthew 13:25-27

Working in the yard today... Spring has sprung. The rains have come and continue to water everything back to green living. I carefully tended around the gardens. Being kind to the young sprouts and admiring the blossoms on the early plants. Again the Father shared a bit of Himself.

He is the God who Always Sees. I on the other hand...don't

While he watches the gardens in all there seasons, I am busy doing other things. I focus on other matters in my life that need my attention too. I am not like the One Who Always sees.

My children's hearts are like that garden. All the good things sewn into them ready to spout. They are nourished and fed with the soil of God's word and the love that our home provides. But I look away sometimes...even to things good...and the unsuspecting evil is sewn.

I want to blame others...I have not done this...but that is not true. I have done good elsewhere, but I have to be on the watch. I have to prepare them for what is out there beyond my borders of care.

I want to uproot the whole garden and start over!! That is not possible whispers my Father. Also the Father to the cherubs in my care. He whispers to me to give their gardens over. Lay it down in prayer. Cultivate the soil ahead.

The best way to weed a garden is on your knees.

There is no better to way to cultivate the life of my children.

On my knees.

I say a prayer and pull those unwanted weeds. I find peace there where it is left behind. A pile of roots and green right where they belong. Out of the soil of my cherub's heart.

Hauling Hearts

Riding in the car with a family of seven for eight hours can bring surprises. It is so bonding. Little can be concealed and the slightest noise or smirk is noticed. If you are looking to find the truest of one self, take a car trip. A really long car trip. The smaller the car, the more the people, and the more will be revealed.

I have always thought with fondness that Jesus picked a few. He taught many, but he knew better than to spread himself thin. Did he choose them specifically? Or did He call them randomly knowing that He could reveal his glory through a donkey if need be. Certainly these men would do better than that! Wight? Well, one could hope. I am sure God could have used an animal instead of me sometimes. If only my were silenced automatically to corruptible talk. I pray that the Lord continues to have His way with my heart and my mouth. For it is out of the heart that the mouth speaks.

And Back to the car. A lot is said in a weekend of approximately 20 hours in the car. Some good some not good. I am so thankful for a Savior who leads us. He doesn't leave us in the pits were in. He draws us with Him loving kindness, places His righteousness in us, and continues to use and mold us until the day He perfects us.

That is love in the long haul form.

Illuminate

Sometimes....
Life just sucks the life right out of itself.

Like the when you flick on the switch by the door for the light to illuminate the room before realizing that whoever was there last pulled the cord on the light itself.
There is nothing left to do but grope your way around in the dark to you hopefully find it without breaking anything.

I grope in dark sometimes...
And the truth is I break people.
I move on too fast..busy with this life...looking for the light source in all the dark places.
I am reminded again as I wash the plate for the last time today...

Bow your knees and pray.
Plug in
I am reminded how sometimes...some relationships....in order to bring them out of the darkness....cost a lot.
Life currency. Winner gives all!

The truth is there is only one energy source.
There is only one who illuminates.

Plug in I must to be the light in relationships hurting and fading.
Press on through life with these disorienting days.

Jesus...Thank you for your focused life.
You lived like a servent
You died like a criminal
You share like a lover
You give like a parent
Jesus...I can't thank you enough
For revealing yourself to me.

Alluring Whisper

Sometimes there are lots of words going out
Sometimes the quiet whisper stirs within.

"Be like this child.
 Let My wonder at the simple fill you.
 Lay down your self
 Give way to trust
 My spirit will pour into you running over
 Be still in this washbowl of life
 I have cleansed you
 From all unrightousness.
 Allow Me to refine you
 Let Me show you beautiful."

Sometimes I breath out with a resting soul.
Sometimes it is that simple.

Eupnoea

After the long, cold winter the sun comes longer. The grass appears and the rains fall. The Father's perfect cycle. I think about things you know? How in the winter little dissipates except for the food storage. Things accumulate. Snow, pet poo in the yard, people's frustration, and fat. Then when you think that there will be no about-face the sun shines bright and all is revealed as the dingy, of-white snow melts off.

Then comes my favorite part. The warmth! Out go the carpets to shake and open go the windows. Air that was stuffy and stale turns fresh and sweet. The buds on the trees and the green grass give an aroma for spring that no one has yet to reproduce. Let's give The Creator some praise!

And that freshness! I feel it sometimes when I take to noticing.
After a time of wrestling and stubbornness. After a lack of reading God's Word and meeting with other believers. I become that stale air that makes you breath short and leaves your head spinning a bit.

Oh The freshness....The lace curtains in my heart blow with the spirit's breath bringing waves of hope and joy. Peace in my heart is ruffled like the papers left on the sill. And the whole space of my self becomes refreshed.

That is probably what happened to Thomas. (John 24) It wasn't that he was doubting on purpose. The disciples all gathered together in the upper room. Off alone with doors locked.(vs19) Secluding themselves from the world. Maybe at this point they are feeling understandably foolish?...

I wonder what drew Thomas away. Did he feel to busy to wait? Did he just want to think about something else and move on? Maybe it wasn't doubt that drew him away. Maybe it was hurting and loneliness of heart? Rejection? I couldn't imagine after knowing Jesus like I do now, having His relationship taken from me. Then knowing that only in death would I be with Him again. How discouraging the thought of life would be! At this point Thomas didn't know that the Holy Spirit would be given to keep the connection alive. Just thinking....

I know I act out of my hurts too often. Not trusting my maker to work out the details of my days, I respond with fleeing and seclusion. Maybe Thomas and I had more in common than just doubt. I am just thinking....

The saddest part is that whatever made him to separate himself from his eternal peeps made him to miss out on the greatest blessing.

The Fresh breath. The eupnoea that came from God alone. (vs.22)

This is the greatest of Thomas' news! That Jesus love for Thomas went beyond Thomas. This is why I think it wasn't just doubt. I think Jesus knew that Thomas was responding in doubt, but the root of it was his broken heart. How many times...I wonder...have I missed out on a great blessing because I secluded myself from others. Like a wounded animal retreating in private to lick my  bleeding, injured self. Self-pity is a very deceiving friend. It seems so innocent, but takes so much. I am sure I have missed out on those sweet breezes that stir and refresh the back corners of my heart, because I have said yes to that evil invitation.

Even the attic needs airing in the spring.

If you are in a soul winter hold on, dear friend, spring is coming.
If you are in a soul spring, hold on, dear friend, rejoice!
You know the way of seasons.
To every season there is a time...

Boldly Pause

Wherever you go, you are there.

Run fast. Run far. Drive farther. Work harder. Move to the next town. Change the scenery. Move the furniture. Call a friend and let it all out. Clamp the mouth shut and let the heart seethe. Take flight! Put up a fight. "Whatever you do," whispers my evil companion, "Don't give in. If you give in they will never let you live."

And the whisper comes....
"Come and rest here...come and lay your burdens down...come and rest here....Breathe in....breathe out...you will find it here...."    -Kari Jobe
He is here. The One who sees. The One who cares. The One who in spite of it all took it all on. I am filled with wonder. I place feet flat, and my knees bend down. How un-trusting I am in the only One who is trustworthy. Why do I give in to fear and words that belong only to the ruler of this world. Who, by the way, wants only my destruction!

The Loving, Kind Father over all, all around placing reminders to look up.

A puppy's kisses, children with kites flying, sun kissed faces and walks around a friendly town.

He is here with me. He is there with you. Let's not run anymore. Let's hold fast. We will hold on tight. We will listen well and respond without hesitation. Have your way Lord. Have your way!

2 Corinthians 3:11-13

For if what was being brought to an end came with glory, much more will what is permanent have glory. Since we have such a hope, we are very bold.

Friend~ Wherever we are, He is here!